the right now.

it’s {embrace} the camera day!

at L’s special needs mommy-and-me this week
i saw a brand new little baby who has special needs.
seeing those little fingers immediately took me back.
back to all of the questions.
back to all of the scares.
back to all of the worries and the fears.
back to all of the wondering about the future.

i feel for that new mommy.
that new mommy who is being inundated with troubling news and diagnoses.
with fearful warnings from doctors who are just trying to
“prepare” her for what may happen in the future.
when in fact, no one can really prepare for 
the things that happen that you wish wouldn’t or 
the things that don’t happen that you wish would. 

God comforts me with His word.
“Do not be afraid… your prayer has been heard.”
Luke 1:13

(photo from july 2009)
i chose this photo for
my favorite picture of my child

what seeing those little fingers showed me was that 

i’m in a really good place right now. 
a really good place.
not in the future.
not in the past.
but right now.

a friend recently asked me how i was doing.
then she said, “how are you doing spiritually?”
i thought that was such a wonderful question.
one of the best ones i have heard.

i have clung to and am clinging to
“But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ 
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, 
so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9

the diagnosis that L has received 
has the potential for taking me out of the right now.
it’s a constant struggle.
but when i find myself living in the right now,
i am content.
because the Lord is giving me everything that i need for the right now.
“The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.”
Psalm 23:1

and i must remember to 
“take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 
2 Corinthians 10:5

426. the right now
427. finding comfort in God’s word
428. His perfect peace
429. recognizing that i am not where i once was
430. my fears dissipating
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