quite the scare.

on monday, after just returning from a quick little trip
of being out of town for the weekend,
we had quite the scare.

L has had a cough that hasn’t really concerned me
(which says a lot about how mild it is).
well on monday evening,
while i was finishing getting dinner ready,
he was sitting at the table and had two coughing spells,
while eating and drinking.
they came on so strong and so fast
that he couldn’t catch his breath.

and he looked into my eyes
with absolute terror.
i am so grateful that he is able to communicate so much to us
without needing to say any words.
i instantly knew that i needed to call 911.

you hope that when you call 911, the operator will make everything better
and then if they can’t do that that the EMTs will.
but when your little love is still fighting to breathe the entire way to the hospital,
what’s really happening starts to sink in
and the situation becomes even more terrifying.

it was one of the scariest experiences of my life.
i knew there was a good possibility that we could lose our sweet L.

B’s work schedule is rarely consistent
but because of God’s great mercy,
he arrived home just as we were pulling away in the ambulance,
the earliest he’s been home in months and months.

he picked the bigs up from a kind neighbor
and they prayed for L
and D said he didn’t want to go to the hospital
to watch his brother die.
B told him he didn’t know what was going to happen to L
but no matter what, God was going to use this for His glory
and that he loves all of us so very much.

i was such a mess that they made me sit in the front of the ambulance
and the driver coached me the entire way to the hospital
that i needed to calm down so that i could talk to the doctors once we arrived.

i will never forget L’s face when he saw me at the back of the ambulance,
ready to wheel him inside the hospital.
i think he was scared out of his mind, too.

it took a long time for L
to show any signs of improvement at the hospital,
even with the bazillion doctors,
nurses, breathing treatments
and other medications they administered.

but, he slowly started to improve.
and emergency procedures that we were signing papers for
became things that they would consider doing in the morning,
after monitoring him for the night.

the smell of the soap in the bathroom
and the all too familiar view from the room
immediately brought back tons of memories.
not all good ones.
but after spending six weeks in that hospital
on unexpected bed rest when i was pregnant with L,
B picked up a skill or two about silencing the unnecessary beeps
and finding the best food that is available after midnight.
there are gifts everywhere, you just have to look for them.

our dearest friends in the entire world,
Auntie B and Uncle J
took the bigs and gave them dinner
and brought them back to our house for the night.
we are so very grateful for their willingness and ability
to literally drop everything and come to our rescue again and again.

in the morning, they released L.
just like that.
i could have been planning a funeral,
and instead we were on our way home.

(we knew he was feeling better when he realized how fun it was
to push all of the buttons on the robot bed.)

my parents drove up and took the bigs on a spontaneous
papa and grammary camp day
while B, L and i reacclimated and tried to recover from
all that we saw and heard
and getting only 1.5 hours of sleep for the night.

we saw his pediatrician yesterday,
who assured me that his lungs sound perfect.
and that it was such a flukey thing
and to not be overly concerned that it will happen again.

we are on pneumonia watch though,
just in case there’s still a little fluid in his lungs.

every time i close my eyes,
the string of events come back to me
in great detail.
but now, instead of crying and struggling with the realization
that all of that really happened to us,
i am so very grateful for God’s comfort and joy and peace,
even amidst these promised storms.

“I have told you these things,
so that in me you may have peace.
In this world you will have trouble.
But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33

3431. being back home
3432. incredible, incredible friends
3433. literally giving me their shirt off their back
3434. helpful neighbors
3435. God’s comfort and joy and peace through it all

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