when he asked me to marry him

i didn’t say yes.

twenty-four years ago today, he asked me to marry him. and i didn’t say yes.

i said “of course!”

and this summer we were able to stay on the exact same beach on the exact same island as we did on our honeymoon.

it is so wild because if we had known then what we know now, would we have made it? would we have endured? would we have stopped to smell the roses and enjoy the warmth of the shining sun on our faces? would we have had those ten million laughs?

or would we have been looking under every rock, knowing without a doubt that cancer, brain abnormalities and a million tears were just around the corner?

would we have enjoyed the here and now? would we have enjoyed that moment? and that one? and this one?

would we have remembered the days where the sun was shining on the days when it was dark and stormy?

i think that this is why God doesn’t tell us what is to come. but He does help us once we’ve arrived in the mess. in the middle of it. in the brokenness. in the despair.

so you know what? i don’t care about what is going to happen tomorrow. because God does and He will be there. with me. with us.