i had one million other things to do today, so i decided to create art instead.
no regrets.

things have been a little bit tough around here lately. but do you want to know what hasn’t been tough?
my heels.

because…
have i told you what i do
every
single
night?

right before i hop into bed, i wash my feet.
and it’s one of the most glorious, life-giving things i do for myself.

and i have the softest heels that i have ever and will ever have - because this is what i will do forever and ever.

here’s the recipe:
soak your feet for a bit or do the following right after you take a shower or a bath

• gently scrape your heel with a metal heel scraper (just a little each time)

• wash your feet with your favorite soap

• rinse off your feet

• dry off your feet

• cover your heels with the ordinary (glycolic acid)

• coat your feet with lotion

• sleep soundly, knowing how well you took care of yourself and everybody else today

• do this at least 3x a week

you’re welcome.

and when i use my favorite camera (all the live long day), one of my go-to lenses (which is absolutely magnificent) allows me to get within an inch of my subject.

(heads up… this post contains amazon affiliate links but nobody asked me to share any of this with you. i only share things that i actually use + love. for real)

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the wildest of prayers answered
the smoothest of heels!
my homemade iced coffee and reminding myself that this moment, too is a blessing
hearing the ballet music out the window and having it delight my soul to no end
having about four minutes to work on my talk and having God move the pen
driving with the music on
and the windows down
and not hear Luke yell “silence!”
finding a natural way to have eye drops moisturize my dry eyes without the eye drops: cry
weights in the rain
coffee outside in the sunshine
getting to the appointment early!
and school!
hearing “there is something else there” from a dear friend
the advil that worked for my horrible headache at 1am
his call today
big things but not very many on the to do list today
finally ordering her art plate
getting the test results back
how cool the mornings and evenings now are
seeing her in person
a photo of us
the sherbet sky
my pink nails with the blue plates and the green avocado
that the baby snake that snuck into and is still quite possibly in our garage is not a rattlesnake
taking it all in as i take out the trash
a new area in the house transformed into art
my flour drawer!
the best puppy there ever was
a restorative drive
an invitation to dwell richly and deeply with God
laughing, because i still see evidence of the muffin massacre

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that if i say that i need to do a couple of quick things, that i probably mean a couple hundred quick things.

that when i drink my coffee out of my favorite mug it will taste the best.

that i will never ever regret starting a new loaf of sourdough in the morning.

that if i don’t run the dishwasher just before it is fully and completely filled to the max, there will be overflow.

that when i pick my daughter up from school or ballet and she asks what i did while she was gone, that i will not know how to answer her other than i did the next best thing, and then the next best thing after that, and that i’m just aiming for neutral at the end of the day.

that people wearing too small of hats drives me bonkers.

that when it looks like it is going to rain, even in the summer in California, it is going to rain.

that having my husband train me to lift heavy is very wonderful and very exhausting.

and that i will be exhausted for the entire rest of the day.

that every time my oldest daughter texts me, she will be announcing some new fabulous thing that she signed up for like a mission trip or a white water rafting trip.

that a lot of my contact with my college-age kids is them texting me with photos of clothing items that need my stain removal wisdom.

and that i feel like a blessed woman and am filled up every single time that happens.

that no matter how grateful i am when it is all over and how many hours i had to babysit the adults at my insurance company, my youngest son will always, always prefer his beat up, too small old shoes and AFOs rather than the brand spanking new ones that i fought so hard to get.

that i have two choices: ruminate and overthink, or pray about it and surrender it to God Who is faithful and Who is love.

that if i let Luke be my boss and direct my every last step while i am in the kitchen, that he will feel heard and he will feel powerful.

and that i will get things done so much faster due to his quickly repeated “go, go, go, go, go.”

that cut flowers from our yard in tiny vases do more in my heart than store bought flowers any day.

that wanting to leave early to pick up my daughter at the end of her school day is very different than actually leaving early to pick up my daughter at the end of her school day.

that i like my water bottles to be washed every two days.

that if i ever see a cute European car, i can always, always convince myself that Mr. Bean is driving it.

and that he’s making a funny face.

that a breeze is always nice.

that to be let in on your friends’ greatest news and deepest sorrows is the ultimate gift of friendship.

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twenty-four years ago today, he asked me to marry him. and i didn’t say yes.

i said “of course!”

and this summer we were able to stay on the exact same beach on the exact same island as we did on our honeymoon.

it is so wild because if we had known then what we know now, would we have made it? would we have endured? would we have stopped to smell the roses and enjoy the warmth of the shining sun on our faces? would we have had those ten million laughs?

or would we have been looking under every rock, knowing without a doubt that cancer, brain abnormalities and a million tears were just around the corner?

would we have enjoyed the here and now? would we have enjoyed that moment? and that one? and this one?

would we have remembered the days where the sun was shining on the days when it was dark and stormy?

i think that this is why God doesn’t tell us what is to come. but He does help us once we’ve arrived in the mess. in the middle of it. in the brokenness. in the despair.

so you know what? i don’t care about what is going to happen tomorrow. because God does and He will be there. with me. with us.

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seriously not believing that this is my life
her text to me right now
finally hearing the song i’ve been searching for
getting a new striped dress on mega-sale
how Bob can always open the twisty tops
Luke’s immense love for churros (like his father)
starting a loaf of chocolate chip sourdough and having it hand-delivered very soon to my oldest boy
the dusting of flour left on the counter
and leaving it there
the washing machine doing its thing while i workout
making me feel like i am multitasking
her letting me brush her hair out this morning
how folding all the laundry has the power to make me not feel like i am wildly behind in my home duties anymore
getting a pre-workout stretch from reaching the dirty napkins that fell behind the washing machine
finding all of the clothes tucked behind the kids’ bathroom door
the new little laundry mesh bags
the bathroom counter being covered
the phone calls and the voice memos that he is receiving
having something happen that i was waiting quite a long time for
Bob fixing the water issue
and the kitchen sink issue
those quail babies
the cool morning breeze on my face
the absolute hilarity of what’s going on in our house right now
that she’s writing a book
that i did not step on the baby scorpion on our back patio with freshly (at home) pedicured feet
having tears when i received the email
choco-hoto pots with our youngest girl
being invited in to pray for the hard stuff
knowing what fills me up
and what doesn’t
witnessing the successes of the world turn meaningless

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well, well, well…

the summer is now over (according to the approximately one thousand emails i receive daily from my daughter’s middle school). i feel like it is now time to pause and stare up at the clouds and listen to the earth sing its beautiful song in my ears.

this summer was weird and wild.

our oldest was only home for a couple of weeks which made it weird (talk about parenting adult children). but every ounce with him was full and glorious.

the rest of the summer was wild. there was laughter and there were tears and there was travel (Bob and i even got to take a trip together for the first time in 12 years!). there was a month of a glorious ballet intensive and there were also lots and lots of homemade meals and about three bajillion dirty dishes.

we had many, many visitors and real big talks (with some shoe throwing in there) and nearly daily floating and splashing and popsicles in the pool. even though we averaged 2-3 doctors appointments each week, we soaked up every drop of daylight, (which made for really late nights) card games and scrumptious desserts.

and the biggest news of all?
this was the very first summer of
my entire motherhood
where i didn’t feel robbed at the end of it. i am still not sure why exactly that is, but my desire was to soak up every last drop and be so very present, knowing that no day is promised and even though my old life of having all four kids at home for the summer is long gone, i recognize that this new season is also fleeting. so instead of grieving what once was and will never be again, i was constantly so darn grateful for what actually was right in front of my very own eyes.
and that my friend, is a gift.
a gift of summer.

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it smells like peaches and toast in the summer.
and hope and coffee.
and an entire day laid out before you.
it smells like an exhale.
it smells like someone looking you in the eye when you are speaking.
it smells like love.
it smells like pink dishes and the promise of sunshine.
it smells like a blank page.
it smells like like a lovely pause.
and what a gift that i smell this and remember her, not only in june.

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Kristin Nave wrote this study through 40 Psalms which is a powerful, encouraging invitation to meet God right where you are. each study takes about 20 minutes, and yet you have the opportunity to go so deeply and be transformed by God’s Word.

this girl is the real deal, and she loves God and His Word fiercely. i have had the privilege of serving alongside her for nearly four years, and she spends more time in God’s Word than anyone i know. Kristin reminds us how trustworthy God is.

get your copy of the 20-Minute Psalms Bible Study!

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this is my ninth year of taking a photo each and every day.
check out all of my past year’s photos here.

i continue to do this project because of what it does to my heart and to my life. it forces me to pay attention to the little things, every single blessed and horrible day.

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talking to my oldest boy on the phone is everything
this text from my oldest girl is everything
homemade sourdough is everything
the sun on my face is everything
the breeze on my back is everything
the splash of the pool in the afternoon is everything
that song in the car is everything
the zoom with the most amazing woman is everything
the best water ever is everything
the fabulous dinner out with dear friends is everything
the tears and the laughter with them is everything
seeing the moon like that is everything
taking that photo is everything
how my littlest boy always wants to help me do everything is everything
the clarity that God has given her is everything
the way that my youngest girl smiles is everything
the delicious little nap i got is everything
his newest script is everything
her late night update is everything
(it means she is home which is glorious and is everything)
how we now throw shoes in response to what she is telling us is everything
her mess everywhere is everything
His gentle whisper is everything
this moment is everything
and this one is everything
and this one also is everything
this little life is everything
it is so good
and it makes me want to cry
and so i do

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how he adamantly wants to sleep on the top bunk
the purple flowers on the side of the freeway
how he puts a whole new meaning to the muffin man
the now famous muffin massacre
and how my tears soon turned to laughter
how happiness is turning all of your alarms off
the syrup splattered on the table each and every morning
how he said that he couldn’t have done this last year without God
how she doesn’t keep in touch with politics
me telling him my plans and him saying “what about me?”
hearing Him whisper, “this is art.”
seeing her stuff on the bathroom counter early this morning
the blessedly long drive home where i got to hear about all of the things
needing more roses
delighting while having music on in the kitchen while there is a sleeping daughter in her bedroom
a moment i never thought would happen when they were little and i couldn’t even walk down the hall without creaking the floor and threatening to wake someone up
a big break and being able to be productive while i was away
my most favorite combination of things
realizing there is a big difference when i say i was wrong versus you were right
what seeing the row of mailboxes does for my soul

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