the waiting.
the wondering.
the hoping.
the praying.
the playing out of difference scenarios in my head.
imagining what his neurologist will say.
what she will want to do.
or try.

 

all of that is the hardest part.
because then i live
what hasn’t even happened yet.
and that sucks the life out of me.

 

 

and it hasn’t been just one or two seizures,
but nine.
they just keep coming.
no more than two a day
but the count keeps getting higher.
he keeps having them.
and it is baffling all of us.

 

and i wait,
and i watch
for one to happen.
but pray it doesn’t come.

but i watch anyway.
and then i see it.
he’s having one.
another one.
and he shakes and i go to him.
and i talk to him.

i pray scripture over him.

i reassure him.
that i am there.
that God knows what is going on.
and that He is there with him.

 

and so i wait.
and i hope.
and i watch.
and i trust Him.
and i wait upon the Lord,
for He is my strength.
He is L’s strength.

 

and you know what?
God is good.
even in the waiting
and the wondering
and the hoping
and the trusting
and the praying.
even in the nine seizures.
He is still good.


Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:14

 

3091. Him meeting me here
3092. hearing his typical breathing once again
3093. the seizure stopping
3094. losing count
3095. a good medical team

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