the end of me.

i am continually discovering that
the end of me
is really where i want to be.
actually, it’s where i need to be.



over the last month,
L has been having some sleep issues.
(what else is new?)
actually, for the majority of his life,
he has had sleep issues.

sometimes things are good for a few months,
but the situation inevitably returns to
him struggling to sleep and to sleep well.

 

and after he and i have been up for hours
and when the sun finally comes up,
instead of my adrenaline jumping in to take over,
i am finding that that river is dry.

 

i can’t pull myself up by my bootstraps
because i’ve worn those straps right off.
the only thing i can possibly do
is recognize that i have nothing to give.
because there is simply no more of me to give.

 

but i do know that Christ can and will
give me every ounce of energy that i need.
and He does.
He always does.
He meets me right here.
where i am empty
and He fills me up.

 

God has humbled me to no end through my little L.
what once worked for the bigs does not work with him.
in every single area of life.

 

but i am finding comfort that
the end of me is really where i want to be.

 

and talking about rawness and extreme vulnerability,
be sure to check out this
beautiful,
heart wrenching,
raw
and lovely
blog post:
one simple red stitch.

 

and you must listen to this new favorite song of mine.
you must.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly
about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ’s sake,
I delight in weaknesses, in insults,
in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10

 

2901. rawness
2902. ice cream homework sheets
2903. being carried through the day
2904. sitting next to the woman i need to know
2905. a fabulous new year of CBS

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