sometimes when things are going smoothly, 
we need those 
little reminders 
that we are not in control. 
ever. 
and we aren’t promised smooth sailing. 
ever.
and that our goal in life 
should not be to craft a perfect life.
ever.
and that our goal in life 
should be to craft an obedient life.
always.
and that we are actually promised trials.


after five months and one day of nothing,
L had another seizure.
it was small
and he came out of it quickly
but it was still a seizure.

i can’t imagine how he feels afterward 
but both B and i were 
totally and completely
zapped from all energy.
both physically and emotionally. 

i cannot begin to put into words 
how a parent feels while watching their child
go through something like that.
horrifying 
is the only word that comes to mind.
and it doesn’t even quite encapsulate 
the emotions involved.

so we move forward.
(we have no choice.)
we cling to Him and to
the hope that only He provides.

i started a new devotional
(thanks to this lovely lady) 
and this little excerpt struck my soul:

The burden of suffering seems to be a tombstone 
hung around our necks. Yet in reality it is simply 
the weight necessary to hold the diver down 
while he is searching for pearls. 
Julius Richter

it is a blessing to be
completely humbled and 
completely broken and
feeling so completely helpless.
it is such a blessing.
because i can see now more than ever before 
God’s mighty work in my life.

and i can see 
my desperate, 
desperate need for Him.

Take delight in the LORD, 
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4 


1286. a neurologist who responds to an email on a sunday night
1287. L’s hysterical laughter in his sleep
1288. five months and one day without a seizure
1289. little reminders
1290. this incredible sermon
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