hello! remember me?

i have wanted to get back on here so so badly…
but life has had other plans.
i have barely, barely been on my computer.
and while many, many things are going on around here,
and i’ve had so many thoughts that i’ve wanted to share,
i just have not had the chance to do so.

lately, there have been too many breakthrough seizures for our little L.
we were going to get a second and third opinion
about what to do and why the recent explosion of seizures
but instead, after much thought and an equal amount of prayer,
we are switching neurologists after four years with the same doctor.
to date, this has been my hardest breakup yet.
in my entire life.
but oh-so necessary.
we can’t figure out what’s going on
and don’t think his doctor does, either.

i do know that there’s purpose in all of this.
i don’t know what that purpose is,
but i know that there is purpose in it.

because Romans 8:28 says,
And we know that in all things God works
for the good of those who love him,
who have been called according to his purpose.

it’s one of His promises that we can hold firm to.

and we were going to have to wait until february
to be seen by the new doctor
but our pediatrician is just the best
and got us in very, very soon.

3486. B coming home
3487. the hope for better sleep
3488. deleting emails
3489. throwing papers away
3490. the very best pediatrician


it’s been real around here, lately.
so real that life has just swept me up
in the billions of things being thrown at me.

i had a dream about the perfect baby name
and then i remembered the name the next day…
i like it,
B likes it,
so it might be a good fit!
of course, i will need to scour my baby name book
just to make sure i’ve thought of every single possibility
for this little one.

i did seven photo shoots in one and a half weeks.
that was sure something.

and this past weekend, we celebrated this little miss as she turned seven.


and thanks to my sweet friend mia,
who lent me the fascinator.
isn’t it fabulous?

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.
Titus 2:11-14

3481. feeling the baby kick, kick, kicking
3482. B feeling the baby kick, kick, kicking
3483. those birds chirping out my window
3484. knowing He knows
3485. watching ann voskamp speak


around here,
the baby is growing!
i’m craving peaches with almond butter,
soy sauce,
and chinese food.
and lots and lots of fruit
and smoothies
and fruit.

we aren’t planning on finding out what we’re having
until they are welcomed into this world
(we’re old fashioned like that).

i’m having a heck of a time
trying to come up with baby names.

and only one stranger has told me what i’m having…
she said it was a boy.

i can feel the baby kick which is SO fun
and i absolutely cannot wait for B and the kids
to feel the baby having a dance party in there.
D thinks i should swallow a disco ball.

when i pick D up from school, he greets the baby
before he greets me.

it’s all pretty delicious.
and we’re so very grateful.

“Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the Lord.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.
Isaiah 1:18

3476. when the kids laugh and play outside
3477. lemonade with crushed ice
3478. finding and eating spring rolls at tj’s
3479. being able to run an errand
3480. quiet